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10 In Mental Health/ Personal Stories/ Self Worth

You’re Not Responsible for What Other People Think About You

You are not responsible for what other people think about you.
You are not responsible for how other people feel about you.
Your value does not change based on someone’s perception of you.

I’ve lived most of my life as a reflection of everyone around me.

It’s like there were tiny jagged shards of mirrors plastered all over my body and in every conversation or interaction I made it a goal, without realizing it, to reflect back in multiple directions what I thought they wanted to see in me.

I know it’s not my fault. From a young age I linked my worth to what I could accomplish and achieve. How well-behaved I could be. But when anyone stood in front of my mirrors, I was distracted with anticipation and a sense of purpose.

Here I am, ready to show up and be everything you want me to be. Everything you expect me to be.

But honestly, this is an exhausting way to live.

Because when they left, that’s when it hurt the most. I was left with nothing to reflect back. I’m taking those broken shards and assembling a cracked mirror, and for the first time in my life I have the time and space to finally face that girl head on.

And I don’t necessarily like what I see.

I feel like she cares too much.
Gets hurt too easily.
Gets sad over little things.
Doesn’t know how to pick herself up quickly enough.

I live with a voice that tells me these things constantly and it’s absolutely exhausting. I read quotes that say mental illness isn’t a character flaw, it’s a flaw in brain chemistry, and that registers when I apply it to other people, but when it comes to me? I never believed it.

It’s uncomfortable and time-consuming and messy and painful to realize the habits and thought patterns that put me here. I look back at this reflection of a girl who is wondering why I abandoned her for so long and if I’ll ever have the strength to walk away from what hurts me, even if I’ve fallen in love with it.

But at the end of the day, regardless of whatever my crazy self-sabotaging habits are or whatever yours are, we all do crazy stupid things for one reason: to love and be loved. It really comes down to that.

And trust me, there are many healthier more rewarding options that lead to this result. We just have to be a little more brave and creative in trying them out now.

So now is the time to get rid of all the crap that prevents this magic from happening.
Admitting it is my first step. The process is daunting, it’s intimidating, to think of how far I want to go and how much effort it will take… But I’ve gotten this far, so I’m banking on that counting for something.

 

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10 Comments

  • Reply
    Shani
    April 3, 2017 at 10:17 pm

    Thank you so much for having the courage to share, and at the same time reach out and offer a helping hand for those in need. You are a beautiful soul and I love your light 🙂

    • Reply
      Aurora Myers
      April 3, 2017 at 10:47 pm

      I love YOUR light Shani! You’re so beautiful inside and out 🙂

  • Reply
    hannah
    April 3, 2017 at 10:03 pm

    Yes!! I love the reminder. I often try to refer to Don Miguel Ruiz who said that other people are living in their own dream and to never take anything personally. Or Paulo Cohelo who said that what other people think of you is none of your business. When I get really empathetic, it’s a fantastic reminder.

    • Reply
      Aurora Myers
      April 3, 2017 at 10:10 pm

      Yes!!! I love Don Miguel Ruiz! It’s crazy how easily we can get caught up in others’ realities without even realizing it. It’s something that I don’t even realize is happening until I look back and figure it out you know?!

  • Reply
    Stefani E.
    April 3, 2017 at 9:08 pm

    A great person once said:
    “Be who you are and say what you feel,
    because those who mind don’t matter
    and those who matter don’t mind.”

    • Reply
      Aurora Myers
      April 3, 2017 at 9:20 pm

      I’m pretty sure that was Dr. Seuss!! Good reminder to live by. Thank you babe!

  • Reply
    Deanne
    April 3, 2017 at 1:07 pm

    So powerful. Have you read “Playing Big” by Tara Mohr? I found it empowering on so many levels. Highly recommend to you, Aurora! xo

    • Reply
      Aurora Myers
      April 3, 2017 at 8:58 pm

      Oh no I haven’t! Thank you for the suggestion, I’m excited to check it out!

  • Reply
    Corinne
    April 2, 2017 at 12:57 am

    Powerful truth:
    “You are not responsible for what other people think about you.
    You are not responsible for how other people feel about you.
    Your value does not change based on someone’s perception of you.”

    This is such a helpful reminder.

    • Reply
      auroralyra
      April 2, 2017 at 11:59 pm

      Yes! These are the lessons I have to remind myself of constantly 🙂

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